#then cried again watching the edit on youtube

[dragonboydominicc]

Just finished watching aftersun. Do not fucking textm

[absolutebl]

BLs with Strong Historical Elements

Costume dramas, historical BLs, and BLs with time travel or flashbacks to historical locations & times.

These are in order of my personal preference, best at the top.

I Feel You Linger in the Air

2023 Thailand

IFYLITA is an exquisite BL, from filming techniques to narrative framework (much like Until We Meet Again). It's about a gay man from our time who falls into the past, becomes a servant to a noble house, and falls in love with the heir. It turns out this has all happened several times before. Steeped in history and family drama it edges into lakorn (but not as much as To Sir With Love and with way less scenery chewing). This is an elegant and classy soulmates BL... from Thailand which normally doesn't even try for classy. The main couple (both as a pair and as individuals) were excellent, particularly Bright (Yai) whose eye-work acting style is a personal favorite of mine. Pity about the ending. Oh it wasn’t that sad but it wasn’t good either. This show could easily have earned a 10/10 from me except that it fumbled the… erm… balls in the final quarter. Argh. Whatever.

Nobleman Ryu's Wedding

2021 Korea - WeTV

A boy cross-dresses to take his runaway sister's place as a bride to a shy scholar, turns out they like being married. A historical setting allowed this BL to use some seriously old fashioned romance tropes (arranged marriage, evil step-sisters, Cinderfella) but also modern BL stylings like fake relationship & secret identity (drag) plus some cute gay panic. It reminded me of 12th Night more than anything else which just happens to be my favorite Shakespeare play. For all these reasons, I adored it.

(the ghat kiss!)

Tinted With You

2022 Korea - Viki

Fun stylish time travel meets portal fantasy with a likable cast, historical setting, and two actual kisses that mitigate the rough plot and issues around anachronisms.

Word of Honor

2021 China (censored) - Viki/YouTube?

I don’t rec Chinese stuff often, because I believe in censoring the censors, but this show is one of my favorites of the post 2016 censored bromances. It’s two murder-gay assassins (pining sunshine/tsundere), and they are so insanely gay for two boys who will never be allowed to kiss. Tropes include: wuxia, soulmates, paranormal, historical, and fantasy elements.

To Sir, With Love AKA Khun Chai

2022 Thailand - YouTube?

This is a true lakorn (basically Thai tellenovella or soap opera) with scenery chewing performances, especially from the mother characters. Gone With the Wind + Days of Our Lives but gay. That said? I loved it: A glorious central brother relationship (the best, made me cry), het romances, class divide + gay *gasp* main romance - oh my word, the campy drama of it all! Arranged marriage, rebellion, cut sleeves, over-the-top death with curses and regrets, beautiful if inaccurate costumes, secrets unraveling, cover ups, sparkle murder, sex herbs, coils within coils including snakes and murderous green metallic sequins (is anything gayer on this earth?). It’s a WILD ride but it does end happy for our gay boys. A man cries when he finds DEATH GLITTER. Come on! You haffa watch it. That said, like Manner of Death I struggle to rate something on a BL scale when it patently isn’t a BL. So I ended up giving this exactly what I gave that show, 7/10 I enjoyed it a whole lot, but not as a BL.

The Untamed (Special BL Edition)

2020 China (censored) - YouTube

Censored wuxia bromance, amorphous ending. Probubly the best known BL of its kind out of China and responsible for bring many fans to the BL side.

Our Skyy 2: Never Let Me Go

2023 Thailand - YouTube

I was nervous to watch this PondPhuwin vehicle but I liked it a lot! Doomed soulmates + paranormal time travel to fix the past. I’m happy for the outfits and the dancing (if not the singing). It’s not a bad premise and it’s nice to see GMMTV lean into its high production values for a change. I'd adore a full historical starring these two and this was definitely the best of the second series of Our Skyy. I don't think you have to have watched the original Never Let Me Go to enjoy this.

Legend of Long Yang: Rebirth

2017 China

Gaga

Whipping boy trope... literally, servant character takes the strap for the prince, who then makes him his bodyguard and lover when he becomes king. Low budget historical, comes off as kind of cosplay wuxia version of Irresistible Love, but we get (in the credits) an actual kiss, and they both live. So yay for small mercies.

The Director Who Buys Me Dinner

2023 Korea (historical flash backs)

iQIYI

A new employee at a film company encounters a director who claims to have lived 300 years and insists that they have to date (eat, hug & kiss) if baby doesn't want to die. It has a lot of Japanese elements, not the least of which are: an office setting, the fact that every character in this show is unhinged, and a killing of the gays. Featuring a gorgeous & stellar cast, TDWBMD should have utilized them less for melodrama and more for chemistry. This BL surprised me by going there with a lipstick mark AND an actually gay idol. But (you knew there was a but) while it's a unique twist on an office romance it is NOT a unique twist on the doomed red thread trope, resulting in it feeling less than the sum of its parts and ultimately unsatisfying. This might have also had to do with the fact that this was one of those KBLs where I felt how very short it was the whole time I was watching, like I was missing something constantly, in every episode. Worth watching for some but seriously flawed.

First Love Again

2022 Korea (historical flash backs) - Viki

A popular novelist who remembers his past lives meets his soulmate for the third time, only to find she has been reincarnated into the body of a man. This one started out a touch mean-spirited, but we eventually got a good kiss. The confession/rejection scene was justified and the reconciliation and ending was... fine. All in all, the pacing felt rushed and the romantic arc was underdeveloped. They go from like to love to boyfriends in a red hot minute. But that’s par for the course with Korea’s short form. If you don’t mind a heavy does of melodrama in your BL this one has a solid story with a strong concept that’s well acted and produced, making it a classic KBL with better than average chemistry but ultimately a touch forgettable.

Love in Spring AKA Spring of Crush

2022 Korea

This show was all over the place with uneven acting, narrative, and focus (sometimes it wanted to be a slapstick comedy, sometimes a depressing melodrama) which meant no one, actors or viewers, took anyone or anything seriously.... AND it’s a bromance. I was left wondering if SalHyung is now code for “they were roommates” in Kdrama historicals but otherwise largely apathetic and unimpressed. Korea, I now know you can do better. Do better.

Mermaid's Jade

2019 China (censored-esk) - Gaga

Kills the gay.

The Male Queen: Han Zi Gao

2016 China - Gaga

Kills the gay. Schrodinger's BL, both a BL and entirely not one at the same time.

Diary of Heong Yeong Dang

2014 Korea

Kills the Gay

I was gonna do a top 10 list, but there aren't enough by my metrics, so many end sadly.

This post at the behest of @verymuchof thank you for the idea!

Dated April 2023, includes only BLs that had finished their run by that date. Not responsible for cool costume flix that come after that. But you should check the comments to see if any have been added by others!

I might have missed a few that only have time historical elements since I don't always track those.

Also I would like to point out a decided lack of Japan on this list. My ninja yaoi consuming tiny past self is VERY upset about this void.

WHERE ARE MY GAY NINJAS??!!!

(source)

[mhahaikyuus]

Manipulative

wc:; 5.3k

tags;: emotional reader, bakugo being the opposite, reader has mental health issues, established relationship, pro hero bakugo, fighting, angst to fluff, reader and izuku are friends, mentions of death, mentions of bad childhood

a/n: I said I was gonna post like two weeks ago but this draft kept getting longer and longer. it's like half edited but I just need to post something atp. thanks for your patience. I love you all

reblogs and likes appreciated

“Why do you always do this it’s so manipulative.”

You two were in the middle of an argument with your boyfriend. At first it was expressing how each other felt but no one was understanding making it more frustrating. Leading up to you both raising your voices. You hated fighting with him and you felt an upcoming headache.

His loud booming voice was hurting your ears and making you shrink back. Feeling your eyes water you started crying.

All you wanted was to talk about it and not let it get this far. You were sniffling and tears were right down your face.

Mid sentence he interrupted himself, “Here you go again with the tears. Every time we fight here comes the waterworks. Always so sensitive. Why do you always have to be so manipulative.”

The words were dying out of your throat.

What?

He thought you were manipulative because you were emotional. Out of the two of you, you were the most expressive. You were a crybaby and he always teased you.

Books, movies, even a 2 minute youtube video could have you bawling as he laughed at you holding you as you cried. You loved the Notebook it was your favorite movie and you watched it constantly always crying so hard it was as if a loved one died. A fluffy animal on your phone could have you wiping your running mascara off. Someone was mean to you in the store and your eyes would water. It was just who you are as a person since you were a baby. Your own family laughed at you as you waved them off with bloodshot eyes. Katsuki would snicker at your tears and roughly wipe your tears with his thumb. Kiss the top of your head and rubbed it to calm you down. You never thought he had a problem with it. Once at a party a guy in passing called you an ugly bitch and Katsuki had snatched him up as soon as he saw your wobbly lips forcing him to apologize for making you cry.

But he thought you were manipulative for crying?

“You think i’m manipulative?” You said in a small voice.

“Yes! Look at you right now sobbing when we’re in the middle of the fight to make me feel bad.” He barked at you red eyes narrowing.

“I didn’t mean it to be…I just cry easy.” You said unable to look him in the eye, your vision blurred with tears blinking sadly at the floor.

“I get it,” He sighed,” that doesn’t mean you’re not manipulative.”

He was right, “I…i’m sorry i’ll stop.” You said not even remembering what the fight was about.

Katsuki saw how defeated you were looking and all the anger in his chest disappeared. He wanted a fight not for you to be his punching bag.

Both of you stopped the fight and tried to move on so neither one of you went to bed angry. The next couple of days you reminded yourself to keep your emotions in check. You had a terrible day at work, a supervisor yelling at you for a co-worker's mistake and a customer screamed at you not even 20 minutes later over the same mistake. You were crying over the stove, cooking dinner for the both of you. Katsuki came home with a groan and the door shut signaling he was back from work. You quickly wiped your face hearing him enter.

“Baby are you in the kitchen?” He called out

Clearing your throat you answered, “Yea i’m here.”

He wrapped his arms around your waist placing his face in your neck with a kiss.

“What’s wrong?” He said in a gruff voice tired from when work. He could tell from your back something was wrong.

You wiped your face again, “Nothing I was just chopping onions.”

He looked down at the meal and saw no onions but didn’t say anything. “Okay, thanks for cooking.” He said, “I’m getting undressed.” Pressing two hard kisses on your cheek before walking off.

You finished dinner and tried to splash some water on your face to stop the puffiness.

You came back to the table emotions in check and face straight with him across from you. Playing with the food you could feel his eyes on you but you ignored him still feeling how watery your eyes are.

“How was your day?” He said moving seats from across to next to you. Pulling your legs over his with a cheek kiss.

“It was fine how was yours,” you said picking at your food trying to not think about your day. Offering him a small smile.

Fortunately Bakugo was in a talkative mood talking about one of his rough villians today. You nodded along happy that he was the one talking.

He stopped talking to study your face and he frowned, “Are you sure you’re okay? You have this look on your face. You look sad.” He stroked your face with his large finger trying to warm you up. You froze at his reading of you when you promised yourself you would be better, you straightened your back out pulling from him. “No nothings wrong im glad you came back safe.”

He studied your face but let it go. You cleaned up the kitchen as your boyfriend stretched and walked out the kitchen.

Bakugo flopped on the couch arms open for you to crawl into.

“Do you want to watch the notebook it’s been a while since you’ve seen it I know it’s your favorite.” He said trying to cheer you up. You did cry but you always had a small smile on your face for the rest of the night.

"Why are you smiling, weren't you just bawling," Katsuki asked looking down at you with his red eyes as you snuggled into his chest now wet with your tears.

"I dont know...it's sad that she forgets. But love is so beautiful and they have it. He never gave up on her and loved her no matter what. They got to build a life together and grow old and die together." You mumbled looking up at him your chin gently resting on his chest as he rubbed your back.

"I love you." Katsuki said squeezing you extra tight and rolling on top of you making you groan.

"Youre so heavy."

"Shut up."

Your lips pressed together as you tiredly stared at the screen. It was your favorite but it also made you bawl and Katsuki had to hold you as you calmed down.

“No I’ll watch by myself later I know you don’t like it.” You said moving the cursor to a different genre, more his speed.

There was definitely something wrong, Katsuki thought.

You never said no to The Notebook and you would always cry to him about how he better spend his days with you when you’re both old even if one of can't remember. You switched to an Allmight movie he loves and laid back down cuddling him. As emotional as you were you were also very observant. Knowing what ways to distract your boyfriend and fake a poker face. It had just been a while and you were easing back into it.

Bakugo with his arms smothering you with his large biceps telling you facts about Allmight that made you smile as the movie rolled.

“See right there, in the corner that’s the same design i had in my room for my action figure.”

“I had this one poster when I was a kid that was made from this scene.”

You nodded along humming to let him know you were still listening.

No one else got to see him be so dorky about his hero except you and it warmed your heart. Eventually you dragged him to bed and held him close as you both fell asleep. The next couple weeks it was unnatural to you. Burying your emotions down in an exhausting time. It was hard but you would do anything for your relationship. Bakugo had taken notice at you not expressing emotions with him and it freaked him out but he was unable to say how. You could cry up to 3 times a day just crying or complaining to him going to him for comfort. Now you would just stare off into space in your own world around him. The only time he did hear you cry was on accident. He had woke up to clamor out of bed to go pee and hop back into bed. As Bakugo returned he noticed you weren’t there at 3am. Before he thought to panic he walked out to the living room to see your guest bathroom light on. The door was closed but he could hear you crying your eyes out.

He knocked on the door, fully awake to your noises now and ready to cuddle you until you felt better.

“Baby what’s going on?” He said in a gruff voice with sleep still mixed in.

You froze from the bathroom floor at your boyfriends voice.

You quickly wiped your tears and swung open the door, “A nightmare I didn’t want to wake you.” You said with the saddest eyes too tired to try and put on a neutral face.

Work was getting to you, badly. And you had no one to talk to anymore. So you ended up sneaking out of bed to cry on the other side of the house to not wake him.

He rubbed your arms up and down pushing you into him. “Cmere baby.” He said kissing your head.

You leaned into him for a minute before remembering.

“I’m..okay now.” You said weakly, moving away from him and walking to the bedroom.

Katsuki frowned and grabbed your hand to pull you to turn.

“Yes?” You asked

“What’s wrong?” He said trying to get you to talk to him.

“…I’m fine I’m just dramatic.” You said, “A nightmare let’s go to bed.”

He sighed not believing you but following you back to bed extremely tired from patrol.

He trapped you in his arms so you wouldn’t escape him again and both of you drifted off to sleep. Katsuki became buried in work for the next couple days and you missed your boyfriend. It was like you were falling into a deeper and deeper hole as time went on with no escape. Even if you couldn’t express your emotions around him anymore didn’t mean you didn’t love him any less. You decided to stop by the agency after a really hard shift just to see his face hoping it would make you feel better. Walking through the lobby to his receptionist only to be told he was pulled away for an emergency.

Feeling your eyes burn you blinked back tears of frustration.

Katsuki’s receptionist was scrolling on her computer trying to figure out when he would be back for you and you felt a hand tap your shoulder. You turned and Izuku was smiling down at you. One of your good friends since Katsuki introduced the both of you.

“Hey y/n how are you?” He said with a warm smile.

“Izu! I missed you,” You said avoiding his question and giving him a hug.

He happily accepted hugging you back. “I know you’re here for Kacchan but he’s on an emergency right now, but you can always come back to my office and wait for him. We can catch up?” He said. He noticed how fidgety you were at the receptionist’s desk knowing something was wrong.

“Thanks that’s really sweet of you.” You said taking his offer and walking with him to his office.

Izuku and you talked about his girlfriend he had just started to date and how it was going as you sat next to him on the couch he crashed on during late nights.

“It’s going really good I can’t believe she said yes to me, still.” He admitted rubbing the back of his neck with a blush dusting his cheeks at the thought of his girlfriend.

You couldn’t help but smile at how cute it was, Izuku being so bashful about the girl he was starting to fall for.

“Izuku she said yes because you’re a great guy and from what I’m hearing you’re a good boyfriend so stop thinking like that. You two like each other and that’s all that matters.” You reassured your friend already knowing all those doubts were swirling in his mind.

He let out a sigh of relief, “You always know what to say to make me feel better.”

“What are friends for,” You shrugged

Izuku studied for a moment before speaking, “What’s wrong y/n.”

Eyebrows furrowing you were confused, “What do you mean?”

“I saw you at the desk, and I know you better than most. There’s something wrong, and if you want to discuss it with Kacchan i’ll respect that. But know that i’m also here for you.” He said gently putting a hand on your shoulder.

You pressed your lips together trying to stop your chin from wobbling but the tears started to fall against your will.

Damn it

You were doing so well

Stop crying it’s stupid

“It’s that obvious huh,” You said with a cracking voice.

Izuku brought his hand from your shoulder to around both pulling you into his chest as you cried, shaking.

You pulled away after a minute or two wiping your face. “I’m sorry, I’ve been doing so good I thought I had it under control but it’s just…so hard.” Mumbling but Izuku caught every word.

“What’s wrong what are you talking about.” Izuku said gently

“I…if I tell you can you not tell him please?”

Izuku nodded, “It’ll be just us I promise.”

You rubbed your face in your hands letting tears run before taking one solid breath.

“We got in a fight a couple weeks ago. And I was crying while we were…yelling. Kats said I was manipulative with my emotions and crying. I said I would work on it and I was sorry I didn’t know my crying and emotions had that effect on him, and it’s been…s-so hard. Everything in my life is terrible right now, my job, my family and I can’t even talk to him anymore. It’s been so difficult keeping my emotions in check around him. I can’t talk to him or be expressive; be myself around him but I know it’s the only way the relationship will work. I never, ever wanted him to feel like I was manipulating him. I just feel so guilty about it.” Tears stream down your face, “I’ll get over it soon though, it’s a hard transition.”

Izuku watching your body look so hopeless and small as you cried he felt terrible.

Izuku had seen you and Katsuki together and understood the dynamic. Katsuki was known for having a tough exterior and any emotion other than anger was difficult for him. You on the other hand were very emotional. Izuku thought you two were a good match balancing each other, but as of recently, that wasn’t the case.

“I’m…i’m so sorry y/n. But you know he loves you, maybe if you talk to him about how you’re feeling.” He suggested.

You shook your head, “He has enough problems without that. It doesn’t matter how I feel. And he already told me how he feels about the situation, there would be no point…I just need to adjust no matter how hard it is.” You felt your phone buzz underneath you and it was your boyfriend letting you know he was back in the office from an emergency.

His receptionist obviously calling him that you were here when you had left her desk.

You wiped your face again, “He’s back I gotta go.”

Izuku nodded unsure of what to say and walked you out of his office.

You hugged him and he hugged right back feeling worried

“I’m sorry I’m talking about my problems. You’re a good friend.” You pulled away and Izuku wiped a tear falling down your cheek. “Anytime okay? Know that i’m here for you, even when you want to cry your eyes out on my couch.” He lightly joked

A tiny laugh escape you, “Bring your girlfriend over soon for dinner! I would love to meet the girl you’re falling for.” You said and he nodded.

Watching you walk away Izuku could feel nothing but worry and sadness for you. Your entire aura was sad and tired.

Katsuki was stretching in the locker room of the agency with Kirishima walking in the door surprised to see him here.

“What are you doing here man? I thought you’d be with y/n.”

Katsuki frowned at his words, “What do you mean?”

“I just saw her crying with Izuku in front of his office. Thought she would go over to you?” Kirishima innocently said confused.

Katsuki immediately got up and left to find you. He texted he was back but he thought you would be in his office.

Why were you crying?

Why were you with Izuku?

Not even knocking on the door he swung open Izuku’s door to find you scaring his green-haired friend.

“Where is she?” He said with a scowl and angry red eyes.

Izuku recovering from his door almost ripped off the hinges blinked at him, “She went to go find you after you texted her”

“She was crying? Why?” He said seething at the thought of you upset

“Um…I don’t know.” Izuku said keeping his word to not tell Katsuki.

“Useless fuck.” Katsuki grumbled slamming the door behind him to go find you

He called you and you picked up on the second ring, “Where are you?”

“I’m in your office stealing your snacks.” You said causally on the phone and it confused him.

Weren’t you crying?

" Okay, I’ll be there soon.”

He walked into his office and you were sprawled out on a chair on your phone.

In the time you took to go to the office, you forced yourself to calm down, wiped your running makeup, and became ready to see your boyfriend

He leaned down kissing your head lifting you from the seat. To have you sit on his lap as he held you.

“How was the emergency?” You said.

“Dumbass villians but I took them down.” He said.

“You’re not hurt are you?”

“No im not babydoll.” He said gruffly. Katsuki trying to bring up you crying but not knowing how.

Why were you crying to Izuku but fine with him?

“Good, I missed you. Thanks for the hug.” You said giving him a kiss ready to move off his lap but he moved his big arm around you keeping you in place.

“What’s wrong?” He said studying your face

“What do you mean?” You said confused

“You were crying earlier Kirishima saw you.” He said his red eyes going back and forth with your own.

“Oh…it was stupid it doesn’t matter.”

“But i want to know,” He insisted

You felt your heart squeeze, you couldn’t tell him you were sobbing to Izuku because of him and how unhappy you were. “A rude client today at work,” You said with a sad smile.

Katsuki could tell you were lying but didn’t say anything.

“Okay I gotta go to the store and pick up for dinner. Do you want anything?” You wanted to leave.

He sighed, “No and it’s my turn for dinner remember.”

You moved to get up again and he trapped you in his arms.

He began kissing up your neck and face, “I love you, you know that? You can talk to me.” He said seriously trying to pry whatever was bothering you out of your tight grasp, to let him in.

You brought both your hands up to his pale face and kissed him, “I love you more.”

You had to, to be destroying little pieces of yourself for him.

After dinner, you climbed into bed with him next to you. He was reading a book with his reading glasses when your phone was buzzing from an incoming phone call. You picked up the call to your sister crying her eyes out making you alert.

“What’s wrong?” You asked worried trying to comfort her

“Luna is dead, she died in her sleep but she’s dead.” Your sister sobbed and you felt your heart drop.

The childhood pet you’ve had since you were 5 was dead.

She was your favorite thing in the world.

“What…” You whispered feeling the pit in your stomach widen.

“I know she’s old but I thought we had more time.” Your sister cried.

Feeling stuck, like all the energy in your body was gone you hung up the phone.

Bakugo at this point heard screaming on the phone and put down his book to see you staring off into space with a drained expression on your face.

“Y/n.” He said softly touching your arm.

Humming a small noise to let him know you acknowledged him.

“Y/n what’s going on baby?” He said rubbing your back.

You forced back the tears in your eyes, “My childhood dog died.” You said in the most monotone voice.

“What? Jesus i’m sorry.” He said sitting up to try and hold you. But you were stiff and leaning away from him, “I have to use the bathroom.”

You locked yourself in the bathroom and quietly cried. After 20 minutes Bakugo got up and gently knocked on the door.

“Baby come on. Please come out. I can hold you like you love.” Bakugo said in an almost begging tone.

It had been little things he had observed of you being less emotional but he never thought it was this bad. You couldn’t even cry in front of him or let him hold you? Even when it was this bad? You were shaking on the floor in a ball crying,

“I’m fine please…just go away.”

You wanted, no needed, to just cry. Not feeling guilty about how that affected him. Bakugo reluctantly left and you slept on the floor of the bathroom that night only wanting to be with your baby who you would never see again. Bakugo barely slept just watching the bathroom door and realizing how badly he had fucked up. Around 7am when his alarm went off you woke up to crusted eyes on the floor.

You finally crawled your way out of the bathroom to your boyfriend walking in with a coffee in his hand. Not even having the energy to stand.

Your order from Starbucks in his hand. His hand engulfing the large cup.

“Y/n- oh you’re out of the bathroom.” He placed the cup on your nightstand and pulled you to your feet. He gently put his hand on the back of your head to hug you. Leaning into him before pulling away. You fell back into bed throwing a cover over your head.

“I got you your drink.” He said slowly rubbing your back and you let out a small groan.

He hated Starbucks but went to for you to make you feel better. Loathed it as he had told you many times complaining whenever you made him go. Hated the lines, your fancy drink order, and the number of people but he went for you.

“I…i have to go to work but i’m coming to check on you at lunch okay? Breakfast is on the counter and I already called your work that you wouldn’t be coming in.” He said.

One thing about Katsuki is he was great at acts of service. He pulled back the blanket to see your face. Broken expression and a blank sad stare in your eyes focused on the wall. Katsuki stroked your hair and gave you a kiss. “I love you okay? Try to get out of bed today for me.”

You shut your eyes at his words, just waiting for him to leave.

He sighed and left the apartment.

You slept most of the day not wanting to be up. Wanting to wither away into nothingness, never to be bothered again. Letting sadness that at most times was a small wave at your feet turned into a deep dark hole where you struggled to not drown.

Katsuki came in to work in a sour mood that everyone could tell to steer far from him. That is except his best friend who was so used to his moods. Izuku saw that Katsuki wasn’t angry even if that what appeared. He was frustrated and he looked worried. Izuku knew he only sported this look when it came to you.The only person Katsuki cared about more than anything.

As the briefing for the next big mission came to a close Izuku caught up to the foul mouthed blond.

“Hey Kacchan.” He said expecting a frown at his greeting

Katsuki was in his head so busy thinking about you, he didn’t even manage to turn down his lips at Izuku.

Only focusing on what he could do to help you.

He had noticed the change in your behavior in the recent weeks and it concerned him. Now dealing with death he was worried for you. You weren’t in the best place mentally and seeing you so drained this morning not even able to walk to bed was scaring him.

“What is it.” He sniped at Izuku as they walked down the glass hallway.

“How are you? How’s y/n. I talked to her a couple days ago and just wanted to check in.” Izuku said trying to set up an open discussion for Katsuki to help him talk about his problems. To help you.

Katsuki scowled at Izuku’s mention of you remembering that you cried to him.

Him

Izuku

But you locked yourself in the bathroom these days and pulled away from his hugs when he tried to comfort you. He walked into his office knowing Izuku was following him and sat at his desk, sucking his teeth. Izuku sat down across from him waiting.

“She’s shutting down on me. She won’t talk to me or let me comfort her. I don’t know what I did.” Bakugo admitted

“What happened?” Izuku asked

“I don’t know you tell me. She was crying to you last week. What the hell was that.” Katsuki almost barked at Izuku

“She felt bad and needed to cry. So I let her. She just needed someone to be there for her. I didn’t do anything.” Izuku said carefully not wanting to give away what you had begged him to not say.

“When did she start to pull away?” Izuku said trying to make Katsuki see the connection of his words and your actions.

Katsuki pressed his thumb and finger in between his eyebrows trying to focus on when the change started.

“I get it,” He sighed,” that doesn’t mean you’re not manipulative.”

“I…i’m sorry i’ll stop.” You said

Bakugo froze at the memory. Oh god what had he done.

“We had a fight. And I told her… I told her she was manipulative for crying. And she said she would stop” He said feeling his heart drop into his stomach.

Winning that one fight had caused this much damage? Bakugo felt his stomach twisting.

Izuku sighed, “She doesn’t feel comfortable with you anymore.”

Bakugo let out a shaky breath at his words. “Get the fuck out.” He said bitterly and Izuku got up and left without a word.

Bakugo picked up the phone filling his eyes sting.

Come on baby pick up

Please

Reaching your voicemail, Bakugo looked up at the ceiling shaking his head.

You stopped. Stop crying. Stop talking to him.

Stop coming to him.

Bakugo wanted nothing but to be there for you, protect, love and cherish you.

And he had pushed you away. He knew how sensitive you were and how everyone diminished your feelings constantly since you were a child. And he called you manipulative making you recoil.

He felt sick at the thought of you needing him and he wasn’t there for you.

Leaving you.

It was his fault.

He looked at the clock and saw it was lunchtime. Bakugo rushing to the apartment as he had promised earlier. Seeing the untouched breakfast sitting on the counter. You were sleeping, taking a nap, exhausted from crying so hard.

Gently shaking you awake he saw you open your puffy bloodshot eyes.

“Y/n. Baby.” He said softly.

You blinked at him tired. Your boyfriend was home.

“Can you sit up for me.” Katsuki asked

You shook your head pounding from a headache. You were dehydrated from crying.

Katsuki sighed.

He walked out of your eyeline and you closed your eyes. Katsuki coming only to check on you. He was leaving.

When you felt a weight on the other side of the mattress and Katsuki wrapping his arms around you engulfing your body with his.

You didn’t move just taking shaky breaths.

Katuski feeling how you trembled in his hold.

“You don’t have to do this. I’m fine.” You said in a shaky voice staring at the wall. Squeezing your eyes shut hoping he would just go away.

You felt guilt swimming in your stomach at him holding you.

You promised yourself you would work on your emotions.

“I know.” He said behind you but not moving snuggling closer to you holding you in his arms.

You began to hyperventilate at his touch.

“Please. Stop. We agreed…I would work on this.” You said beginning to breakdown unable to stop. Tears streaming and shaky breaths racking your body as your boyfriend held you ignoring your words.

He knew you better than anyone. These walls you were putting up were no match for him and how much he loved you.

Katsuki gently turned your body to face him and held the back of your head to his chest. You sobbed into his chest until you tired yourself out

You woke up to Katsuki stroking your head holding you in bed as the tv played on a low volume.

Stiffening in his hold you pulled yourself away from him.

“I..I’m sorry it won’t happen again," You said realizing what you had done, "I meant what I said. I’m working on it.”

He looked at you, confusion flashing over his features before sadness.

“Baby…you don’t have to. I don’t mind-. You can come to me you know that right.” Bakugo said struggling to find the words at your fragile state.

You shook your head feeling tears coming but forcing them down. “No…no, I can’t. I don’t want to manipulate you even if I don’t mean to.”

“You’re not.” He said heartbroken at your shaking form. Seeing you punish yourself with your thoughts of coming to him was hurting him. He slowly tried to reach out his hand and you almost flinched.

“I am and I…I can’t lose you. If that means I can’t come to you anymore I’ll do it. I never wanted to hurt you and I have. And I keep making mistakes but I can’t do that with you, with us. I can’t lose you too. I slipped up. I promise I’ll do better.” You said holding yourself from him

Bakugo watching you destroy yourself because of him. In shock at your words.

He grabbed you before you could protest hugging you into him.

And words he rarely said left his lips.

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.”

“What did I do?” He whispered into your scalp as you shook and hyperventilated.

“I'm not leaving you, and I was mad when I said it. I love you I’m not going to leave you if you act emotional. You can cry to me forever if you want. I love you no matter what and I need you to come to me when you feel bad.” He said, feeling like the worst partner in the world.

“You don’t think I’m manipulative, you’re not going to leave.” You said with wobbly lips and the saddest eyes he had ever seen.

As if he could ever leave you.

“No baby, I'm not leaving. I can’t. I need you.”

That broke the damn and you cried even harder as he held you closer rubbing your back.

“I missed you.” You said in between shaky breaths into his chest.

“I'm sorry baby. I'm here now.”

[callie-the-creator]

boyfriend!coryxkenshin hcs

sfw. this was also posted on my wattpad, so there is no point to accuse me of plagiarism or anything

• you already know cory is a hopeless romantic aka...the best type of partner! you lucky thing! you scored yourself the best of the best

• cory has not one ounce of toxicity in his very soul

— "he's a good man, savannah, a GOOD man. 😤"

• oh, what's that? you gave cramps either from your menstruation cycle or they just popped out from nowhere?

— this man would do everything in his power to make sure that you're comfortable and have everything you have to make yourself feel better

— he definitely wouldn't make fun of you or belittle you if it was because of your period (unlike those boyfriends😒)

• you already know that you'll make a few special appearances in his videos whether that be sss episodes or playing games specifically made for couples or ones that allow multiplayer

— it takes two, the dark pictures anthology, cuphead, you name it! you'll just have to motivate him enough to finish the games though since that's where he falls short...🫢

• but for the important question! what is his love language?

— personally, it's to each their own on the topic, but this is what i think: as much as i want to say physical touch, i feel like he's more of a quality time type of guy, you know? even if he does youtube, he still takes breaks and you can bet that he'll spend most of that time with you!

• there is not one dull moment as long as you're with him

• wouldn't be able to stop smiling if he caught you wearing his merch or any of his clothes for that matter...just not his puka shell necklace. never his necklace. ☝️ that's a big no-no

• he's definitely the type of bf who would play songs that remind him of you

— *cries into pillow uncontrollably*

• and when he is recording, you are known to bring him snacks or water and wave 'hi' to the camera

— but i'd doubt he'd need any snacks since this main usually has skittles, now and laters, and nutrigrain bars stockpiled in his recording room.

• if you text him randomly, he'll make a big deal about it and be all giddy. you make him so happy! 🥺

— also, if he's too scared while playing a horror game and dashie isn't picking up the phone, you're the second-best option for decisions! but you know what they say..."with great power comes great responsibility"

• personally, i don't think he's neutral on the topic of pda, but he's the subtle type bc he wants to be careful to not make you uncomfortable, especially when you two are out in public.

• since he's known to record really late at night, he'd do anything in his power to be quiet and not wake you up during his 3 scary games or his spooky scary sunday videos

— if he happened to wake you up by his screaming would definitely deadpan the camera and be like, "now why did you have to go and wake up my gf? 😐"

— deny deny deny, as rodrick heffley would say.

• we already know cory likes his anime, so i'm saying that you would binge-watch all types of shows and movies together. but, again, you'll need to motivate and encourage him a lot since he has trouble finishing stuff or gaining interest in shows

• would want cuddles or just to hang out with you if he got too upset over a game

— he has rage quit a few times

• cory would let you sit on his lap while he plays games in his spare time

— he will kiss your head or shoulder randomly. he'd also keep on hand pressed against the small of your back to support you, to make sure that you won't fall off. 💔 you guys are so cute togetherrrr

• his fans love you. i have nothing more to add to this.

• fanart and edits!! different youtubers garner different communities, and some are more likely to make fanart than others, but cory's has the best of both worlds! though, his fandom leans more towards the editing side of things, so expect lots to pop up on your fyp

• i feel like there would be a few videos like “3 minutes of cory being soft with his s/o” or, even better: “cory and y/n being the best couple for 8 minutes” compilations going around on youtube, tiktok, reddit, etc.

…that’s all i got! until next time <3

[dearly-somber]

Sharp Teeth | j.jk

-> pairing. wolf shifter!jungkook x human!reader (f)

-> genre. fluff, angst, unrequited love, pining, f2l (friends-to-lovers), high school!au

-> w/c. 1172

-> rating. 13+

-> a/n. Heavily inspired by the Sharp Teeth animatic on YouTube created by Dead Sound. The song I listened to while writing this was a song included in the animatic by Wes Hutchinson called One Down Dog. Give them a watch and a listen.

-> warnings. N/A

-> collection. mini-series

-> started. Wed., Jun. 30th, 2022 @ 18:18

-> fin. Wed., Jun. 30th, 2022 @ 19:18

-> edited. Mon., Jul. 18th, 2022 @ 23:35

-> divider credit. @mmadeinheavenn

Jungkook’s mother let her son cuddle into her side as he so often did before bed, showing him the book cover. Jungkook’s eyes sparkled at the sight of a particularly intriguing and somewhat familiar sketch of what he recognized as wolf canines. The book was bound in burgundy leather, the image of the canine carved into the cover so when his fingers brushed over it, it sank before evening out again. His mother turned to the first page and Jungkook got transported into the story, imagining himself in an open field with grass growing green and a gentle summer breeze, somewhere quiet and calm.

The point of view shifted from the delicately flowing grass stems to a herd of sheep gathered by a river’s edge, grazing peacefully.

On the opposite side, however, an ewe laid; looking curiously at two lambs curled into her side.

Jungkook’s mother read, “‘Are you… mine?’”

The ewe blinked carefully at the little lamb who stood on four shaky feet, tail wiggling excitedly at its mother.

“Mother is confused. She’s looking for a sign.” Jungkook waited with bated breath for his mother to continue, looking on as the ewe stood up herself. She nuzzled into the limp lamb’s side before pulling away slowly. “The rest seem unmoved.”

On the next page, the ewe turned to the eager little lamb, nuzzling and licking it before pulling away. Jungkook’s mother continued narrating in a chipper voice.

“‘Yes, you are mine!’ The mother stated with glee. ‘You’re small, and round, and helpless, but I can tell; from your blunt teeth.’”

The lamb baaed in response. Jungkook tilted his head in slight confusion. Blunt teeth? He brought his hand up to touch his teeth experimentally. He pulled them back after feeling around his mouth. No, his teeth weren’t blunt. Sure, some of them were blunter than his canines, but they were significantly sharper than what was considered ‘normal’.

Mother sheep lead her lamb to the riverbank, an establishing shot showing other animals on the opposite side of the river, grazing and whatnot.

“‘Most outside are friendly—the swift’,” a group of deer. “‘The strong,’” a herd of horses. “‘Who fly.’” Swans overhead. “‘Being so close to ground, it’s nice—to have more eyes.’” The lamb looked at its mother timidly, its weak legs quivering with fear.

“‘Don’t worry!’” Its mother soothed at the same time Jungkook’s mother brushed a hand over his head. “‘Blunt teeth, and beaks, and four feet… none here have sharp teeth. Just stay close to me.’”

As Jungkook’s mother turned to the next page, the illustrations took an unsettling turn, zooming in on the animals opposite of the mother and her young. “The swift ones run away, the strong ones turn around—both with heightened senses, and stuck so close to ground.” The point of view shifted back to the mother and her lamb.

“Will make them run in fear? Mother is confused. An evil monster is near! Her young as she cannot lose.” The ewe stood defensively next to her lamb. Panic seized her heart.

“Mother is to defend—slow but tough and firm—her young one not so behind her, the young bones. Every twitch another monster mother is convinced! She’ll never leave her youngster, even monsters do exist!”

A wolf rushed out of the shadows, snapping its jaws around the helpless little lamb.

“The young one cries out, but mother was too late. The evil monster lunged, and sealed the young one’s fate.” Jungkook instinctively held his mother close, lower lip quivering and tears glossing his vision. The ewe fell to her knees, panting fearfully by the river’s edge.

“Mother’s instincts shattered, scared. Confused of what became. So round and small and helpless, with only herself, to blame.” Jungkook sniffled, appreciating his own mother when she gave him a moment to recover. She paged over: a wide-shot of the wolf walking with a lifeless lamb hanging from its jaws.

“With this broken mother, seems the evil does no good. But the evil doesn’t eat—the young was not its food.” Jungkook frowns quizzically, his mother sparing him a glance and smiling fondly at his confused pout.

She turned the page a final time, opening the last two pages. “The evil, has it’s own young.” Jungkook’s mother brushed her thumb over the page with the wolf standing over a pair of pups, each small and round and helpless, with a whine slipping between their teeth. “Evil, could these be?”

Jungkook opened his mouth to protest when his mother closed the book gently, but hushed quickly when she brought him into her lap. She cupped her son’s face, thumb brushing over his cheekbones tenderly with a loving sparkle in her eyes.

“‘I think not,’ says their mother. ‘Simply born,’” Jungkook’s mother leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead, “‘with sharp teeth.’”

Jungkook’s eyes closed unwillingly as she whispered the words into his skin. He pulled away to look at his dear, beloved mother with freshly stained cheeks, smiling adoringly before throwing himself forward in a tight embrace.

🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕

Jungkook’s hearing slowly refocuses, two warm palms pressing against his cheeks.

“—hear me? It isn’t your fault you were born with sharp teeth, I promise I’m not ma—“

Y/N lets out a surprised yelp as Jungkook falls into her, nuzzling into the crook of her neck while weakly wrapping his arms around her waist. She stands in shock for a moment at his shaking shoulders, before she eventually maneuvers her hands around his torso, rubbing calming circles into his back.

Jungkook is unsure of exactly how long they stand there, but he pulls away when her scent starts to cloud his senses. She smells like daffodils and raisins—an addictive combination.

Cupping his cheeks again, Y/N brushes away rogue tears with the pads of her thumbs. “You alright?”

He smiles softly at her, nodding his head in a small motion. They stare at each other for a second—Y/N with a comforting half-grin and Jungkook admiring her thoughtlessly. He eventually brings a hand up from her waist to place it over the hand resting on his cheek, hesitantly pulling it away from his face to place a close-eyed kiss to her injured palm. He only realizes once his lips touch the fabric of the bandaid that she had wrapped it, guilt forcing him to leave his lips there a second longer than necessary.

When the shifter pulls away, he watches her staring mystified at her palm, light pink hue dusting her cheeks. “I really am sorry about your hand. I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

Y/N shakes her head, wrapping her arms around his neck to capture him in a hug. “I told you already that I forgive you, dummy. Like I said,” she smiles knowingly into his shoulder. “It’s not your fault you were born with sharp teeth.”

Jungkook allows a reminiscent smile to grace his features while he rests his chin on Y/N’s shoulder, holding her close. She smells so nice, he could probably just… fall asleep.

[10underoot2]

I ended up on YouTube and came across this video. I cannot express the impact watching their story in a linear pasaage of time has. Kudos to the editor!

I could do a whole analysis on why their relationship is extremely profound and why we've all grown to love them so much.

They truly moved from unfathomable, new, young, fresh love to 'I forgot how to love you' (Hyunwoo) and 'I love you why don't you feel it anymore' (Haein).

The initial part of their relationship and their journey getting to 'You're my home' is extremely complex, multi layered, painful and so beautiful.

At one point one of them promised to be by each other's side in debt or something more while the other promised not to make them cry. At that point, they completely believed one another.

At one point, one of them said hurtful words and the other forgot to try again. At that point, both of them forgot to open their doors.

At one point, Haein who knows Hyunwoo loves her deeply thought him suspicious of joy upon hearing of her death. At that moment, Hyunwoo was guilty.

At another point, Hyunwoo deeply loved her but couldn't undo the mistakes of his past. At that moment, Haein judged him for his mistake. She forgot to give him the benefit of the doubt. She mistook his love for perjury.

At one point, both of them loved each other but could not openly express it to the other. At this point, both of them were hurting immensely.

At one point, they were both able to overcome it and tell the other how much they mean to them. At this point though, they were faced with imminent death.

At one point, Haein wanted to live, but provided with the option to live with a necessary evil of forgetting Hyunwoo she chose to die. At this point, Hyunwoo wanted nothing more than to convince her of their love fully realizing that this was her ultimate act of love.

I could go on. I'm not even bringing in their convictions and belief in each other. This is complex as it is. I cried watching how beautiful this is. It reminded me why I had fallen in love with these two. You can see where the story goes flat. It's when it becomes as simple as I remember it in my heart despite forgetting.

It undoes the complexity of their relationship and emotions and that makes me sad. So I'm gonna focus on this absolute gem of an edit that reminded me why I was rooting for these idiots all along. ❤️

[kaeyachi]

I finished the 5.1 archon quest...

first off, its a long one, and you will be actively moving for over 2 hours (and I do mean active) so you might need to time yourselves before starting Natlan AQ4.

not gonna lie, i dont think i have the emotional capability to function much after finishing it. the fact that for 2 entire hours of the AQ 4, I was full on sobbing...

heavy spoilers for genshin 5.1 below:

himeko death flags are still here

seeing a monster and death counter was haunting. Both of those rising as i proceed was haunting

being given a choice where to go and knowing you not going to the other location could mean that group's death was also haunting

arriving too late to several locations and seeing all of those dead bodies scattered was haunting

chuychu's death was so damn painful, and chasca's reaction hurt too (im thinking of Kaeya and Diluc in that position so I hurt myself more

finding out vichama died was a slap to the face but hey, at least he and his friend are together again

the cutscenes were cool but my tears made them hard to see so i might need to watch them on youtube later

hearing a baby saurians cries as the lone survivor... hnghh...

but there are some good too

the will to fight, the kindness and compassion from everyone. it really motivated me to go crazy despite fighting the abyss for OVER AN HOUR

finally i have 1 more confirmation and that is the fact that Mavuika is a member of the Scions of the Canopy, but what surprised me is finding out Burkina is her childhood best friend (i guess that's where the Kinich favoritism came from)

Capitano is still open to being Anfortas Alberich, Perinheri, or any other member of the sinners list of Khaenri'ah

wait i got reminded, but yes mavuika punched the false sky so hard she opened us all up to HSR lmao

more edit coz some thoughts popped up

i genuinely figured that Chasca was our last chosen one coz she was our only option from the flower-feather clan, but the fact that it took the death of chuychu...AFTER THEY GAVE US A MINI PORTION WITH THEM WORKING TOGETHER?!?!?!?! foooooouuuulll

Paimon's reaction at seeing all the dead bodies... her being left to no other reaction but to gasp...she sounds like she wants to cry...and this is a repeated event of us seeing a group of dead bodies in several locations. Just arriving too late far too many times...yeah it left my heart heavy...

there was a long period of time where kinich is the only one left on the map, so honestly Ajaw asking how tf he survived is so effing real like BRO??? HUH??

for a moment, the death counter reached over 4k and i looked at it in horror until the number went back to 1k+ (which is still horrifying), and i never thanked the ode to resurrection as much as i did until that moment pls

I need a breather. the quest is lore and emotions heavy.

[s-4pphics]

i NEED to see a street racer ellie x grid girl reader fic IM ON MY KNEES FOR THIS🙏🏾🙏🏾

OHHHHHHHHHHH WEVE DONE IT AGAIN IMPULSIVE HCS

wc;cw: 800 or sum, streetracer!ellie, gridgirl!oc, ellie being a car nerd and hot, mentions of sex MDNI, mentions of ciggies and illegal shit

streetracer!ellie…… passes out 

she always loved cars :3 her dad owned a mechanic shop and used to watch him repair all the damaged cars that showed up

when she was thirteen he finally let her help him replace the tires 

and then change the oil

and then fix the ignition 

eventually taught her how to drive stick😝😝

and 2 years later she knew the anatomy of vehicles like the back of her hand 

she was on her dads payroll 💯💯 shout out to mechanic!ellie😞

when she found out ab street racing she got obsessed with it. 2 fast 2 furious is her favorite movie of all time

her youtube history was wild😞😞 30 hours of devon aoki edits saved 

so when she got invited to a race by one of her friends when she was a junior for her birthday she almost passed out 

the screech of the tires on the pavement and smell of gas gave her heart eyes

she swore she was going to participate in a race after they both left that night

SIKE she thought everyone laughed at her when she showed up the next day in her dads beaten up family van LMFAO 

the bullying was devious fr😞 she cried a little when she got home

but ofc her friend helped her ass out and high jacked his brothers old nissan

the overseers allowed her to participate but nobody bet on her except her 2 friends. that $20 pitch didn’t help her confidence much but she loved them😞

she was nervous and filled with adrenaline and tried so hard not to gawk at the hot girls that waved their grids around 

when they waved their flags and signaled for the racers to go….

ellie was out that bitch fr😞😞 SKKRTED ON THEY ASS BIG PURRR

VVRRRROOOOOOOM LIKE BFRRR

she hit every sharp turn every curve every bump like it wasn’t shit 

she made everybody eat they words that night. HAPPY BIRTHDAY QUEENIE😝😝

some overseers gave her $300 outta pocket that night and she wasn’t even on the list to race 

her and her friends went every weekend. would leave campus and go straight to the tracks fr

she started getting a little fan base after a month of racing😞😞 girlies from school would come just to see her 

but she didn’t pay them any mind💯💯 she payed them a little mind 

n 5 years later…. most betted on racer in the city YUHHHH 

she makes racks every weekend… and she brings it all home to her dad so she can take care of him 🥺🥺

he doesn’t question where she gets the cash from but he always feels nervous when she leaves the house🥺🥺 poor old man he just wants his baby to go to college

she owns one mclaren senna but never takes it anywhere😞😞 it just sits in her garage lol she paid for that shit in cash tho big bags big stacks

drives a fucked up supra when she races😂😂 she tries to cover up the scratches and large dents with cute little spray paint jobs of fire and sparkles and shit😂😂

she named it renee and slaps the trunk like she slaps ass every time she gets behind the wheel :3 thinks it’s good luck

smokes cigarettes mmmm fuuuck

such an aggressive racer like omgg she gets so competitive and pissed she's so hot

tatted to hell. full sleeve

TERRIBLE RECORD!!!!! arrested twice and was on parole :/

but at least all the grid girls got a little crush on her 😳😳 titties out ass out bc they want her attention 

all the male racers hate her bc of it… she don’t care tho suck her dick💯💯

she’ll never say it but…

she definitely stares too long at one grid girl whenever she shows up in her little croppies and booty shorts😞 she’s fine as hell ITS NOT HER FAULT💯💯

too bad gridgirl!oc doesn’t pay ellie any mind anymore :((she had the prettiest smile and such good pussy 

that ooey-gooey. that sloppy. THE WORLD'S BEST CREAMER💯

did i mention they're ex's? YEAAAH CLOCK THAT TEA

every time ellie fills up her tank she can’t stop thinking about the time she bent her ex over the trunk and railed her from the back 

she may never feel that pussy again 😞😞 it makes her wanna cry 

when she met gridgirl!oc for the first time two years ago her world changed for the better

her zits disappeared, her hair got softer, her crops were watered

they fell in love immediately…. like instantly 

they were inseparable. up each other's ass. in each other's cars. in each other's guts. so so happy 

until they weren’t 

their breakup was soooo fucking messy. 

cheating accusations. screaming contests. EVEN A PREGNANCY SCARE???😳😳😳

a hot mess. and their relationship ended in flames :(

but that doesn’t mean ellie can’t peep every once in a while😛😛 that ass is still fat as fuck regardless of the beef >:)

[blossoms-phan]

going thru my youtube history and it's really funny so here's a rundown from a Certified Youtube Fangirl™ that no one asked for

subscriptions

first was o2l/connor franta/zoella/gmm (god i was so obsessed with o2l so nostalgic i acc cried the day connor left but that shi was probably terrible for his mental health lmao)

subscribed to pj first (what y'all know about being a tiny planet explorer) and then danisnotinteresting a week later (??)

crabsticks->pj the kick-> danisnotonfire (so many ppl dgaf about second channels but i was loyal to them apparently lmao)

danandphilcrafts on april 1st 2015 iktr

lessamazingphil in nov 2015

danandphilgames in oct 2016 (this must be another yt glitch like the fact that it doesn't show my subscription to phil bc i have photo evidence of subscribing to the gaming channel the day it was announced)

that's enough of that lets move on to comments (there are literally thousands omfg this is a real ride including ones from smosh and other people i was obsessed with but but i'll choose what funny dnp ones stick out)

first comment, don't hype him up too much

chill girl omfg as you can see i abused the laughing emoji but dan and louise collabs really are the funniest

so many comments like this on what are presumably phan edits on privated or deleted channels we've really lost the ancient texts + im real for that one still one of my fave videos

boy do i have news for you

jfc they should've been allowed to kill us

first gaming channel vid requests you're welcome everyone

why does this make me so emoo omg there was a time where i actually anticipated this video bc they probably tweeted about it or mentioned it in a liveshow and i watched it right when it was uploaded and have gone back to it ever single year since, over and over again and it's still one of my comfort videos :(( really grown up with them

ok imma stop there that's literally just stuff from 2014 there's SO much more im well aware most people were there and these aren't particularly special or funny and more cringe was just feeling a tb and now im going to fall down a rabbit hole of older edits/videos from this time im seeing now in the history that i haven't thought about in 10 years apparently (so many collabs and vlogs that have escaped my mind god they were soldiers for getting through the youtubers!!1 era it's all very nostalgic but can't imagine how draining it was once again grateful for where we are today)

[cuntendipity]

STRANGERS - C.S.

Summery: Rachel is a new up and coming youtuber. Once she gets invited to the birthday of a youtuber who's bigger than her she finally feels as if she made it. At the party, she meets The Sturniolo Triplets and her whole life changes. She just doesn't know if it's for the better or worse.

disclaimer: unedited <3

PART ONE

Growing up a very outgoing and rhombus child everyone always told Rachel she’d be someone important one day. She was always the first to dance the night away or be telling a really loud story in front of an audience of people. 

Unfortunately, life does what it does best and dulled her shine , it took away the only part of her that made her feel special and different from others she knew. Before she was out of high school, she was quiet and introverted. She didn’t go to parties, go out with friends very often, and she certainly didn’t steal the floor at family gatherings to tell a story that was otherwise boring but in an entertaining way. 

Of course people noticed but what could they do? Her mom always encouraged her to continue being the way she was but Rachel didn’t budge. She had been knocked down too many times for being herself that the last time it happened she just stayed down. 

Once she graduated high school, she met Danielle Hayes. Danielle Hayes is a local girl who is a youtuber. She introduced Rachel to youtube throughout their friendship but she also started to bring the old Rachel back. She was starting to feel more confident in who she was again and was willing to be in Danielle’s videos sometimes, which led to her making her own channel. 

Starting youtube was hard and she knew it would be but she didn’t think about how hard it would be to grow or make something out of it. She only focused on how she would get to be herself and put it out there, giving people the option to watch or not. She knew her personality wasn’t for everyone, school had taught her that, but she knew that eventually it would be for at least one person.

It didn’t take long for her youtube channel to take off, with the help of Danielle in a way. She was growing faster than she could keep up but she loved every second of it. She wasn’t in it for the numbers or the following she’d gain, but it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. She would post vlogs, challenges, tutorials, brand deal videos, and sometimes just talking videos. She was a jack of all trades on her channel. People ate it up everytime and before she knew it, after a year and a half of working on her channel, she had reached 2.5 million subscribers. Her and Danielle cried together of happiness when they realized how far Rachel had come. 

Not only was she making a new for herself on youtube, she was also slowly becoming her old self again around people who aren’t Danielle. It was worth celebrating.

Rachel knew her next video needed to be the 2.5 million celebration video so she had been filming all day. The video was due to go up in three days and she still had to edit it. She finished filming the outro finally and once the camera was off she was able to finally relax. She took the camera to her computer and put the SD card into the computer. 

While waiting for the videos to upload so she could edit them, she decided to scroll through her various social media apps. After liking a couple tiktok edits of her and answering a few tweets from her followers, she was going to get off and get to editing so she didn’t get sucked into the inevitable doom scroll. As soon as she went to close her apps, she got a notification she never thought she’d see on her own phone.

Tarayummy followed you back! 

She would never admit it, or show it, but she was really excited by this. Tara was one of the only youtuber she frequently watched so for Rachel to see with her own eyes that Tara somehow knew who she was, filled her with a sense of excitement she’d otherwise lost. Before she could full process it, another notification came through,

New Message from: Ms. Yummy

Hey girl! I see that you recently hit 2.5 mill! That’s so rad. You deserve it so bad. I wanted to let you know that I’m having a birthday party on August 3rd. If you want the details definitely let me know, i’d love for you to come! 

Rachel read the message probably 10 times, making sure it said what it said before freaking out. She knew that her youtube career was really taking off recently and things like this would happen but for Tara to be the first one to message her was giving her brain overload.  

“Oh my gosh Tara thank you! I’d love to come to your party just let me know the details and I’ll be there!” 

Even though she was past the point that most youtubers would have packed up and moved across the country to L.A. by now, Rachel did not. She stayed in New York. She didn’t see a reason to move to L.A. honestly, and she loved living in New York. She was roommates with Danielle but Danielle’s parents paid for an apartment in L.A. for her to make up for something that Danielle has never told her. So she’s often out of town so it’s like she lives alone at the cost of only half the rent. She wasn’t complaining.

Tara messaged her the details and she read over them again and again, making sure to memorize them in case a tragedy happened and she didn’t have access to them anymore. She immediately dialed Danielle’s number as Danielle was currently out shopping. 

“Hey Rach, what’s up?” Danielle answered after the first ring,

“You’ll never guess whose birthday party I just got invited to!” She was trying to hide the squealing she was feeling but she didn’t do a very good job. 

“Oh my gosh, did you get invited to Tara’s party too?” She sounded ecstatic. 

“Yes yes! You’re invited too? We can totally go together!” Her mind was already reeling with planning this trip. 

“Oh, this is going to be so fun!” Danielle said, you could hear the smile in her voice. 

The girls then talked a little about the planning but Danielle said that she’d be home soon so they could continue it then. After hanging up, Rachel got into the editing zone, even with all the excitement going on, she knew she still needed to edit the video so she began working on that while she waited for Danielle to get back, 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Time jump)

The girls are eating lunch out after shopping for clothes for the party. They were flying out in a couple days and Rachel still hadn’t packed or even planned what she was going to wear. She was running out of time. Rachel was eating a parmesan chicken caesar salad and Danielle was eating a cheeseburger and fries. 

“Do you know any more about the guest list?” Rachel asked, Danielle was a bigger deal than Rachel in the youtube world with 7 million subscribers so she knew a lot more of the people than Rachel did so Danielle had been reaching out to her friends to see who was going and who wasn’t. 

“Oh my gosh yes! So obviously Tara’s friend group will be there. Madison Beer is invited but it’s unknown if she’ll be able to go. I hope so though because I feel like you two would get along sooo well. She might even replace me as your best friend.” Danielle joked, causing Rachel to laugh but also shake her head, 

“No one could replace you!” 

“Also, I talked to Nick a little bit, I think he and his two brothers, Chris and Matt, are going but they’re undecided. They don’t really like parties too much.” She shrugged a little, 

“Nick?” Rachel asked, tilting her head to the side, 

“You really need to expand your youtube knowledge.” Danielle mumbled softly, before laughing, “Nick Sturniolo! He’s part of the Sturniolo Triplets. You have no idea who they are?” 

The name sounded familiar but she could not place any faces or have any idea what kind of content they make.

She shrugged, taking a bite of her salad to keep from having to answer. 

“You HAVE to watch their videos. They’re so funny…and I’m not just saying that because I’m friends with Nick.” Danielle laughed towards the end, “I”ll send you a video later to watch. You’ll love it.” 

“Okay yeah, sure.” Rachel said. Even though she was becoming more herself, she wasn’t fully there yet so being outgoing in a video is one thing but being outgoing in real life, towards what would technically be considered her “coworkers” was not on her list of things she’d accomplished yet. That would be why Danielle is really her only youtuber friend. 

Throughout the rest of their meal, Danielle went on to name a few other guests who would be attending but Rachel didn’t know who any of them really were so it was pointless. As long as Danielle knew who they were she knew it’d be fine. 

They finished their meal and continued their shopping trip. They went into three more stores before Rachel found the perfect outfit. A jean mini skirt with pleated trimming that was super cute on her, paired with a cropped spongebob shirt. She knew in her mind that she’d pair it with her black high top converse so she was excited. That was her party outfit. 

Another two stores later and Danielle found her outfit which was a black, very  short romper but looked so good on her it was almost mesmerizing. Rachel was straight but even she knew when to admit her best friend looked hot as hell. 

They completed their trip and decided to go home. Rachel still needed to pack after all and Danielle wanted to help her to make sure she didn’t forget anything. 

Packing and unpacking are two of Rachel’s least favorite things to do so she was thankful for Danielle’s help as it took way less time and she was able to feel confident in the fact she wasn’t forgetting anything important. They were due to leave in 2 days so she didn’t have to worry about the trip again until they were leaving for the airport. 

Rachel was laying in bed when she got a text from Danielle

Here’s the link to one of their youtube videos. Let me know what you think! X 

Rachel clicked on the video and it was titled “Trying and Guessing 21 Different Drinks”. 

She watched the whole video and found herself laughing at all the right parts at how silly the boys were but also how they acted so..brotherly together. She knew they were brothers obviously but the dynamic was so different than what they show on TV it was different..it was better. 

She subscribed to their channel before closing the video and messaging Danielle back 

They’re funny! I’ll have to watch more of their videos.

She fell into a doom scroll on tiktok like she does every night. As she was in the middle of watching a tiktok about fun facts about jellyfish that had her completely captivated, she got a notification that took her attention away from the video.

@christophersturniolo liked your post

But when she clicked on it, nothing loaded. She looked in her notifications and the notification was gone. 

“Why was Nick’s brother, Chris stalking MY instagram?” She asked outloud to herself. 

Weird.

Authors Note: I always struggle with beginnings so i'm so sorry if this is boring. it'll pick up the next couple parts lol. let me know what you think!! I'm excited. it's been years since i've written a fanfiction so I hope that i do this justice. Thank you for reading! <3

[sunnyie-eve]

19 | Don't Worry

Series: Significant

Paring: Colby Brock x Original female character

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2k

| MASTERLIST |

~

"Oh, my god! Penelope finally made her own channel!" Penelope films her first YouTube video. "Yes, I have decided to make my own channel. I saw a few asking why not make one for fun so here you go." She laughs.

"Not gonna lie this is really weird for me to do. Normally when I talk into a camera, I'm at least with two more people and not doing it alone. So pretty much what my channel is going to be is just for fun. Some vlogs to show how my days are at home, work, or whatever. Fun Q&A's if y'all want. You guys can comment or tweet me some things you want to see on here."

"Hopefully having this channel is a good way for you guys to know me more than what you just see when I'm in a few Sam and Colby videos or TFIL videos. And hopefully, you guys enjoy this if not that's completely fine by me. It's not going to hurt my feelings in any way unless you're extremely mean for absolutely no reason. I'm looking forward to this ride for me and you guys."

"Now let's go give the news to my roommates because they have no idea I'm even doing this." She stops filming and then starts again going to Aaron's room first.

"Am I bugging you?" She pops her head into his room.

"Nope, what up?" He turns towards her.

"I'm making my very first vlog for my YouTube channel. What do you think about that?" She films him.

"People can finally see what you actually deal with 24/7." He laughs, "Also you finally joined the rest of the team. You're gonna have to join the prank wars now." He lets her know.

"Oh, hell. I forgot about that. Shit." She leaves his room and goes to Sam's. "Hey, hey, Sammy." She enters his room.

He looks at her confused, "What are you doing?" He chuckles.

"I'm starting my own YouTube channel and this is my first Vlog."

"I'm so proud of you. Look at you growing up." He cheers for her making her laugh.

"Let's go tell Colby now." They go across the hall. "Colbs!" She screams swinging his door open scaring him.

"Was that necessary?!" He throws a pillow at her.

"Yes, this is my first vlog on my channel." She smiles and he jumps up on his bed cheering.

"She's joined the dark side!"

She leaves his room finding Corey and Elton together, "Say hi for my first vlog going up on my channel!" She screams at them with Sam and Colby following her.

"What? Look at you!" Elton applauds her.

"Penelope! Penelope!" Corey chants.

"That means you can be part of the prank wars now, right? We get you and you can get back at us?" Elton brings it up as well.

"Shut up! Never mind, I'm not starting a channel." She shakes her head.

"Nope, now we can 100 percent involve you now." Colby cheers.

"Okay, well I'm ending this here now. Thank you, guys, for watching my first-ever video. You'll probably see stupid prank wars videos as soon as these idiots prank me. I'm not looking forward to that." She huffs.

"Like, comment, and subscribe!" Sam screams.

"Yeah!" They all yell.

"Again, thank you guys. I'll see you next time." She says ends the video.

"Look at her Colby. She's already a pro." Sam fake cries.

"Whatever, Sammy. Thank you guys for being happy for me." She tells them and they say of course.

She goes to her room and edits her video for a bit before she has to go do a little shoot for work. Leaving the house though, her car doesn't start so she goes back in asking for a ride and Colby is as the only free one.

"They won't mind if I'm just there right? Since I'm your ride and can just wait for you." Colby asks following the directions.

"I don't think they will mind. There's plenty of room behind to sit and watch. I've seen others that do nothing just sit around waiting for someone." She tells him.

As Penelope said they didn't really care Colby was there since he was her ride. Just as long as he say quietly they wouldn't have a problem with him.

While Penelope sat in her chair getting her hair and makeup done, Colby noticed Darwin walk in so he walked over to him.

"Ugh, if you're here she's here." Darwin sighs.

"You got my message right?" Colby crosses his arms.

"Yes, I got your stupid message. And I don't care if you guys are dating because I'm seeing someone else now. Who is way better than Penny." Colby's hands ball up into a fist and Darwin sees this, "Do it. Embarrass your girlfriend at her job."

"I'm not going to satisfy you." Colby walks off going back to Penelope, "Darwin just got here." He tells her.

"Just ignore him. For me, please." She takes his hand into hers.

"I will for you." He gives her a smile.

"Thank you." She lets go of his hand, "Now, I gotta go do my solo then we do group and we're good to go." She gets out of her chair.

As she works Colby just watched and was memorized by her and how she was a natural for the camera, "I'm entirely fucked." Colby says to himself then forces himself to look away to see another girl looking at him in a flirty way. His eyes widened a bit before looking back at Penelope.

"Darwin, who is that?" The girl walks over to him.

Darwin looks over at who Megan was talking about, "Colby, Penelope's boyfriend but when I dated her, he was just her best friend." He rolls his eyes.

"He's dating her?" She can't help but laugh, "He's too good-looking for her."

Darwin looks at her, "And I wasn't?"

"You were but you're not my type. He is." She looks back over at Colby, "You think he's the type to leave her or cheat?"

"You aren't going to get what you want Megan so give up now." Darwin goes through his phone but she walks over to Colby anyway.

"Hi, I'm Megan." She puts her hand out to Colby, who is startled by her coming over.

"Hey, I'm Colby, Penelope's boyfriend." He shakes her hand quickly.

"How did she get so lucky meeting you?" She says in a flirty tone.

"Childhood friends. Our moms are best friends." He looks at the time on his phone feeling awkward at the moment.

"So you guys are like really close?"

"Yeah, dippers to now. So our relationship is great." He smiles looking over to see Penelope still busy.

"I know you guys are like best friends as well but she can still keep secrets from you. Like did you know, she cheated on Darwin, with the guy over there, Jake. If you watch them near each other you can see they have a secret thing. I'm just trying to warn you."

Colby can't help but laugh at her, "Thanks but I'm good. We're good because you're making up lies at the moment. One; she tells me everything because we're best friends first. Two; Jake is gay because I follow him on Instagram so I know he has a boyfriend."

Megan stood there taken back because she was used to the guy believing her and getting with her next. She just huffs walking away as Penelope comes back, "You met Megan..."

"Yeah, made up lie about you. You apparently have a secret thing with Jake." He laughs.

"Wow. Yeah, she has a repetition for going after other girls' boyfriends and normally she gets what she wants." Penelope lets him know.

"Well, she's not getting what she wants this time." Colby kisses her cheek.

"Also, I'm not needed for the group shoot so we can go home now." She lets him know as well.

"Great because Megan eyeing me makes me super uncomfortable. First thing first, I have to find the bathroom before we head out."

Penelope gives him the directions while she grabs her stuff so Megan walks over to her, "Colby is sweet. Darwin said something while you were with him."

"Again, I never cheated on him with Colby. We got together after and months after so it wasn't right away." Penelope huffs trying to plead her case.

"I honestly don't see what he sees in you. You're way out of his league." Megan eyes her up and down before leaving her.

"I heard we're apparently a secret thing." Jake joins Penelope's side, "Freddie thinks that's funny."

"Yeah, she's trying to get what she wants."

"Are you even a little nervous she could? You two aren't really so..." He whispers the last part because he has known about the act since she told him.

"I know Colby's type and she doesn't fit it, trust me. Plus he hates mean girls. Especially if they're mean to me. Junior year he stood up his date to homecoming because she said shit about me." Penelope giggles thinking back, "It was funny the next day at school."

"Well, I wish you guys luck with her." Jake goes to his shoot as his name is called.

Walking towards the bathroom area, Penelope sees Megan with her back against the wall kissing Colby with her arms around his neck and his hands on the wall, "Huh." Penelope speaks up so Megan lets go smirking while Colby was speechless.

He was just coming out of the bathroom when Megan popped up out of nowhere and pulled him into a kiss. Her hold on him was tight he's been trying to get her off him for like the past minute. He thought he could use the wall as support to push out of her hold but it still didn't work.

"I get what I want." Megan shoulder checks Penelope going back to the main area.

Penelope shakes her head walking out with Colby following, "I swear I have been fighting to get out of her grip, Penny. I came out and she came out of nowhere grabbing me." Colby speaks up finally as they reach his car.

"It's okay, Colby." Penelope forces a laugh, "We aren't actually dating so you don't have to worry." She gets in the car.

"No, I do because you know me. I would never kiss or get with anyone who treats you like shit. Megan is a piece of trash and kissed me forcefully." Colby doesn't start the car.

"Colby, it's fine. I know and I believe you." She gives him a smile but deep down it hurts her for some odd reason. Like he said, he was trying to get her off him but still.

The ride back to the house was silent and the only the radio was the sound. Entering the house they go in different directions and Colby goes to rant to Sam.

"Oh, what now!?" Sam asks as Colby enters his room.

"So this chick, Megan, who is a bitch by the way. Forced herself into me because I'm dating Penelope. Penelope caught her kissing me in this situation because I couldn't get out of this girl's grip. I told Penelope what happened and she told me not to worry about it. Tell me why I feel like I should worry about it?" Colby takes a seat on the bed.

"You know exactly why, Colby. I don't have to remind you."

"But still!" He leans back hitting his head on the wall.

"I think your act is really getting to you since you actually want it to be true. You felt as if you were actually kissing another girl that's not Penelope, your girlfriend. Colby, you need to tell her or get over it because you're gonna drive yourself insane." Sam tries to help his best friend.

"Why did I have to feel this way about her? You were never this bad when you liked her. Yeah, I heard you saying you were close to asking her out before Tyson."

"Oh, I was, I just knew how to control my crush on her. Thankfully you introduced me to Kat and it went away." Sam laughs.

"What?! You liked her that long? Sam!" Colby jumps up.

"I did, yes."

"How can you have liked her when I did?" Colby says making Sam point at him.

"Ha! So you did know you liked her way before the kiss!" Sam jumps up now causing Colby to glare at him.

"Oh, shut up. You already said I've always had a thing for her deep down. I just never wanted to admit it. And you're not helping me right now."

"This is for you to figure out, dude." Sam pats his back.

[sweetmariihs2]

List of inspirations that I noticed in ✨️The Amazing Digital Circus✨️

an almost-essay (PART 1)

When I watched the first episode for the first time I started to notice several similarities to other subjects that I also like and know, other fandoms and popular things on the internet, and I soon thought about sharing them on Tumblr (which I'm doing now).

I know there will be things that other people have noticed that will be missing from the blog, but I will try to include all the things that I remember recognizing at that moment. Feel free to share them, though!

I don't know the formal names of some things I'm gonna mention, and also my english It's not the best, I'm trying to practice my writing <3

I'll have to divide this blog into two parts because Tumblr doesn't support more than 10 images per blog. grrgrrgr I really wanted to put everything together but I can't. At the end of the blog I will put a link to part 2 and you can continue reading [when i finish the part 2 of course]

1 - Popee the Perfomer

Popee the Performer is a low-budget animation made in 2000, at the time when 3d animation was still a new technology. It's a collection of shorts and they talk about three circus performers' interactions. People found this on the internet in 2021 and they started a new fandom on top of it. What makes this show talked about it's the disturbing situations the characters put themselves through. There are a lot of violent scenes and sometimes the characters die by the end of the episode, but when we go to the next one they're just alive again, and that makes us question if they are living stuck in an eternal loop with no way of getting out of that small circus setting.

The 3d is pretty simple, mostly because it's old, but that makes me think about the connections between PTP and TADG are the aesthetics, the whole "disturbing adult cartoon about serious topics with a children's colorful aesthetic" thing, and also those connections with the Nintendo 64 graphics. I'M GONNA MENTION IT TOO!!

And a part of this fandom also it's part of Raggedy Ann and Andy's fandom. They were pretty close in 2021.

2 - Raggedy Ann And Andy

Ragatha, next one

I'm kidding there's more

Their fandom started around 2021 because the YouTube algorythm just decided that it was time to recommend a video about Raggedy Andy to EVERYONE! And that's how I discovered them too <3 (I WAS THEREEE I WAS THERE). Andy got the main focus and he was everyone's dream boyfriend lol

Also that's completely unrelated but I wanted to say that I'm one of the people whose video was recommended to everyone through YouTube algorythm and helped the fandom to grow even more (I'm so proud of myself guys I'm sorry awnqbehdjwndbwjdnh)

I believe that if that first video that helped me (and more people) to discover them were never recommended to us, maybe Ragatha wouldn't even have that design!! It's alright that Ann is a doll from the 1900s, but the whole "Raggedy Ann And Andy" thing wasn't a fandom topic, they were just normal ragdolls and they were recognized only by grannies and "the anabelle doll" (this one makes me pissed)

3 - Nintendo 64 (and old 3d art)

And this recognition that it is a fandom united this subject to other famous fandoms, leading to the same audience, and this audience is also TADG's audience. I'll talk more about this at the end of the blog! (Edit: Part 2 of the blog. *silently cries*)

And there's this blog:

That low budget 3d aesthetic it's turning really popular recently. I'm not much of an expert on the subject since I don't know much about games, but I recognize it from the old graphics and my biggest reference is Mario 64. There's a good explanation for it being so popular, I have a theory that it's related to liminal spaces, but I'm not sure. Still, it's worth mentioning.... and also that bubble character really looks like chain chomp!!

They're besties

4 - liminal spaces (backrooms and the "dreamcore" aesthetic)

happy balloons because the backrooms scare me (i hate it)

I think if you're on Tumblr it's very likely that you already know what the backrooms are. A part of our reality, but outside of it. There are floors and floors of eternal levels, where you wander in the same place and don't go anywhere. As if you had broken the matrix and were trapped outside, in a bug. This has become very popular on the internet and it's interesting that it is being used as inspiration for creating a show.

Furthermore, there was also the popularization of aesthetics such as dreamcore, traumacore and weirdcore, which consist of images that look like they came out of a dream. Things that you recognize, but don't know where they came from, like a deja vu, which makes you uncomfortable. It's extremely linked to the backrooms, since it's the same feeling. Many of the images are things that take us back to childhood, to the past, but they are not right, as if they were corrupted. Old 3D is also used a lot to make some of these images, like the example I gave of the Nintendo 64. The fandoms are all interconnected!

In this whole concept they also like to be inspired by childhood characteristics, such as old images of toys, empty birthday parties, playgrounds, and it also takes us to that famous sensation on the internet that I don't remember the name of, but it is basically feeling afraid of a place where people should be going, but they aren't. Abandoned places. The fear of being alone. All those topics revolve around each other. They makes us question abour reality, "do I even exist?" (I know I do, but writing characters that way and exploring the possibilities is kinda nice)

I know a brazillian youtuber that made a good video about it, her name is Replai and in the video she talks about how Poppy Playtime's art was made, but I know that most of the people reading this don't know how to speak in portuguese so... yeah. It's a good video.

5 - Children's aesthetics (but something's off)

This gif speaks for itself. It's that traumacore/dreamcore/weirdcore thing that I was talking about.

Still talking about that empty feeling of knowing that something it's familiar but don't knowing where it came from, childhood memories can be related to this, as they are vague, distant and sometimes carry a feeling of sadness. I'm not a great expert on the subject, but somehow the way that's explored scares us, I know there's a good explanation on the internet. This reminds me of the reason why people are afraid of clowns: they wear this fixed smile on their face and try to appear friendly, but it's this frozen, empty expression that leaves us afraid that there are other intentions underneath. And the fact that they are so related to childhood and children's innocence makes us fearful, because we don't know if they can do any harm to them. (of course, this all happens subconsciously, you don't think about it that way but your brain activates this instinct of fear) (not you YOU, people with that phobia)

I refuse to believe that these things are not interconnected. There is a strange feeling that can be explored from this childish aesthetic and connection to childhood.

Many media are using this aesthetic as part of their stories, especially horror ones. Five Nights At Freddy's was a pioneer, exploring this in the early 2010s, and then there were other franchises like Poppy Playtime, Bendy And The Ink Machine, other FNAF games (and there are also discoveries of things that do this unintentionally and that were created before this popularization, like Popee the Performer. In music we also have great examples like Melanie Martinez's old albums, during the Cry Baby era. There are also other aesthetics who like to explore this childlike-creepy vibe, and they're a little unrelated to all this stuff, like Morute/Dollcore). Whenever I talk about this I remember FNAF SB Daycare, as it is the result of all these topics we have talked about so far. The Security Breach DLC "Ruin" decided to explore this fear of empty, abandoned places, but which once had happy children walking through the corridors. This feeling is very scary.

Do you remember when I gave clowns as an example? The circus is also a way to explore this scary+childhood feeling. A place where there should be lots of games, but which only causes fear, as in the case of those scary clowns. It's quite common in the media for the circus to be used as a focus of terror, however in the internet version we were talking about just now, it doesn't have to be directly a horror circus, just feeling that childish sensation and feeling that something is wrong is enough. Enough to make us feel uncomfortable. It's like the characters were suffering, but they can't scream for help, and it's a disorted vision of how a circus should look like. Hi Pomni!!

The Daycare Attendant also explores that.

6 - Bendy and Fnaf (for the same reasons I already told you all, but one more)

Jax it's Bendy's and William Afton's lost son. We don't need no DNA test.

(I'm obviously just kidding btw, his design was probably inspired by them, MOST ESPECIALLY BENDY and maybe the Cheshire Cat from Alice because of his smile??? Idk)

stay tuned for part 2 <3

[crowsghosts]

I swear Hadestown lives absolutely rent-free in my head. The hyperfixation on the show has been going over two years strong and dear lord how do I start.

I first heard of Hadestown when I listened to the Cathedral edit of NYTW Epic III by druid-for-hire on YouTube. I don’t remember when I first ran into it, but the hyperfixation didn’t officially start until June or July of 2021. Regardless, when I did find out about the show’s plot, I went

“Oh. Oh no.”

I already knew of the Orpheus and Eurydice myth thanks to the power of a TedEd video. I knew Orpheus would turn around. But maybe he didn’t in this adaptation-

And he did. Damnit, Orpheus, you had one job.

As to why I got so attached to the show/it becoming one of my hyperfixations? I don’t know. Maybe it’s because the respective myths of Orpheus and Eurydice and Hades and Persephone stand as my favourites out of the Greek mythos. Maybe it’s because I relate to Orpheus in plenty of ways and Hades to a small degree. Maybe it’s the music genres, jazz and American blues respectively, that I’ve always enjoyed since I was a kid. Maybe it’s all of those factors, who knows? Hell, the hyperfixation caused me to dive deeper into the Greek mythology rabbit hole, see the show on tour and on broadway, want to learn the instruments used in the show, and incorporate some aspects of the show and the myth it’s based off of into my minecraft character.

I remember, during intermission at the tour show, I overheard someone talking to their friend something along the lines of…

“So, you think this will end happy? Well…”

You should’ve seen my face when I overheard that.

And when Orpheus turned around when I saw it on broadway last month, I remember hearing a very distinct “noooooo” in the audience. It always interested me how people react going into the show practically blind. No knowledge of the Orpheus and Eurydice myth. No knowledge of the ending. The hope that the pair will make it, only to be utterly shattered when the bard, doubt taken over, turns around and helplessly watch his muse descend back into the Underworld. Back to Hadestown.

I remember balling my eyes out when I first heard Epic III and nearly cried hearing it live. Twice. I know Orpheus turns around in the end, but at the same time, denial remains a river in Egypt until I see the show or listen to the soundtrack again.

Again.

And Again.

But, as Hermes says, it’s an old song, and we’re going to sing it again and again.

[tarantula-hawk-wasp]

feeling sooo normal and hinged today (lying) (spent morning watching my favorite preminger youtube edits, blogged about nov 5 all day, listened to my bastille playlist from 2016, cried about destiel, rewatching vld again)

[piro-piroooooo]

90s Sailor Moon Re-watch Thoughts by Piro

I was around 13 or 14 when I first watched Sailor Moon. I stumbled upon the first episode on YouTube and ended up watching the whole series, ignorant of the massive impact this manga/anime had on fiction and popular culture.

Most episodes of the Latino American dub were available on YouTube. Sure, the quality was terrible, and the videos were surrounded by copyright frames (Is that the right term?) but my standards were low back then. I cried at the end of every season.

I decided to re-watch the whole thing last November and just finished. I now proceed to share some of my thoughts now that I'm a more grounded maho-shoujo enjoyer. This time I watched it in Japanese.

Thoughts about each season under the cut!

Sailor Moon Classic:

-Absolute masterpiece. Perfect. I loved the finale. As a child, I wasn't able to properly comprehend why Usagi longed so much to go back to her previous life. She had the power to revive all of her friends. She could have kept their memories. But she didn't because in her eyes the greatest gift she could give them was a normal life.

-Usagi is one of my favorite fictional heroes, maybe my favorite one, for a simple reason: She is weak and selfish. Sailor Moon always needs someone to strike the enemy before she uses her all-mighty magical spell to solve everything. But she isn't useless. She is the hope that keeps everyone else fighting.

-Sailor Moon doesn't actually care about ideals like justice (clearly stated in the manga finale). Her sole motivation is the love she has for her friends and the world, a selfish desire to enjoy a happy life with her loved ones. She's just a girl in the world, let her go home and have a yummy treat.

-The shitennou are a lot more interesting in the anime. In the manga, they serve as romantic interests for each senshi. That s a little bit too easy and heteronormative for me. Having two of them be gay for each other and giving Nephrite an actual character arc is a lot more fun to watch!

-I used to be very neutral about Mamoru. Now I enjoy him a lot. His character is really fun. As far as I understand, he gets into a cosmical fight to find some gem and try to have back his memories from before a car accident. He finds out that he is the reincarnation of ancient royalty and has an equally ancient demigod girlfriend. And he still doesn't recover the memories he was searching for in the first place. That's fun.

Sailor Moon R:

-The Tree arc is good. It also helps fill the season. The Dead Moon arc would have been too long without the tree arc.

-Chibiusa is fine. I disliked her as a child. Not anymore. I love how much we can see Usagi's growth in this season. Sure, she and Chibiusa are a little bit mean to each other sometimes and have petty fights, but you can see they care. Usagi goes as far as trying to trick Rubeus to protect Chibiusa. No one has to force Usagi to transform and fight.

-The Ayakashi sisters are really good. I think their struggles kind of represent being undervalued by an organization/company you have given your whole life.

-Not exactly about the season itself, but the Sailor Moon R movie is one of my favorite anime movies ever. Great animation, great design, great homoeroticism.

Sailor Moon S:

-I've read that having this season as your favorite is seen as pretentious to some people. But sorry, it's just an excellent season. That episode, where Haruka and Michiru are about to find they are the talisman holders. Woah. So aesthetically pleasing. Those shots, those angles, that timing, and edition. Great episode.

-This season delivers one of my favorite Minako episodes. The bad guys finally target her, and she runs off clutching her pure heart in her hands laughing like a maniac. I love her (She later does something similar on SuperS). It inspired me to donate blood, but I couldn't do it because the nurses said my veins were too thin.

-Again, great relationship between Usagi and Chibiusa. I love the friendship between Hotaru and Chibiusa too. I don't care about shipping, but in my heart, she has two hands. Third-season Chibisusa is my favorite Chibiusa.

Sailor Moon SuperS:

-The season I disliked the most as a child, the season I like the least now too. They made the girls so fucking dumb. Usagi's only character trait is being jealous of girls around Mamoru all the time. The inners' personalities are erased over wanting to have a boyfriend. Usagi and Chibiusa fight over the stupidest things.

-This is by far my favorite arc in the manga. I love the lore and how each character has a chance under the spotlight. Extremely sad they wrote out Mamoru's role.

-I'm very indifferent about Helios and his relationship with Chibiusa. I don't dislike them but every time I find myself liking them I realize it's because I'm seeing the Usagi and Mamoru on them.

-Why are the antagonists so creepy? like, they don't even NEED to seduce their targets to see their dreams, so the whole tactic comes off as creepy. Sadly, they had to include Fish Eye in this dynamic. I like her.

-One thing I do like about SuperS is the visuals. I love the opening and the little guys doing their silly performances at the circus. Very good.

Sailor Moon Stars:

-The opening song makes me so emotional. Every time I listen to it, I feel like I'm surrounded by my allies preparing for a deadly fight against a big enemy. The enemy is formidable, but the fire inside our hearts is stronger.

-Big fan of the second Nehelenia Arc. I love seeing the senshis all fighting together, using their unique skills and strengths instead of being defeated immediately and leaving Usagi to do the rest. I also like how they tie the return of Nehelenia with upcoming events.

-It will never be not funny to me that Kunihiko Ikuhara didn't get to direct the season where Mamoru does die.

-I do enjoy how Stars feels a little bit more serious and mature with the absence of Mamoru and the girls being in high school. The Three Lights' music is perfect to build that melancholic atmosphere that characterizes this season for me. But I believe it would have been nice to have Chibiusa a little bit more, it's not her character's fault that the previous season felt so childish.

-Something I did dislike was how the inner senshi were neglected a little bit because most screen time was dedicated to the Three Lights. I like them don't get me wrong. But the opening bit where you see the inner senshis holding hands, while throwing themselves into the void, makes me think I would have preferred to have them on the final fight. They barely did anything on the final fight.

-The Sailor Moon finale is very dear to me. I deeply appreciate the message of the manga of not waiting for a 'peaceful time' or a 'happy ending' to enjoy life with your loved ones. Conflict will always arise again, and life is a constant fight you can only win by accepting the eternal struggle of existing. I think the manga version conveys this message better, but the anime is a worthy adaptation with its own merits.

I will be rewatching Crystal soon after I get some rest from Sailor Moon and watch something else for a little while. I haven't watched the Cosmos movies. I'm looking forward to doing so. I will also be watching the live-action for the first time soon. I will post my thoughts about those too.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far! Remember english is not my native language and I might have made grammar and spelling mistakes on this post! I'm open to suggestions regarding that ^^

[cursedvibes]

15 questions 15 mutuals

Tagged by @voxofthevoid. Thanks for the tag! Let's see...

1. Are you named after anyone?

No

2. When was the last time you cried?

Don't know, two years ago? When a hen I was taking care of died suddenly of a heart failure. I don't cry much. Rarely have the impulse to do so. I wanted to cry when I told my mother once again a month ago to please use my correct name and pronouns, but she just said "no, why would I?". Very frustrating, but if I cry in front of her, she's just gonna see me as a whiny, petulant child.

3. Do you have kids?

No, and I don't want any. Definitely not biological.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Yup

5. What sports do you play/have you played?

My parents trained me in martial arts since I was ~4. I've also done a lot of rock climbing and bouldering. Recently, I don't have the time for it though. Just gym if I find a good one.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about other people?

Their hands and mouth. Hands because it's usually the first part of the person I will have to get in contact with and mouth because I don't like long eye contact.

7. What’s your eye colour?

Mostly blue, but there's also green and brown. Many people think I have dark brown eye's though because my pupils are often dilated (no, I don't take drugs) unless I'm looking directly into the sun. Always causes a lot of confusion when I renew my ID.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

One doesn't exclude the other, but scary movies. Watched Annihilation recently. It's amazing. So trippy and such good body horror.

9. Any special talents?

Not sure. My legs are very bendy? Even if I don't stretch regularly. If I stretch, I can put them behind my head.

10. Where were you born?

A city. Apparently there was also a snow storm.

11. What are your hobbies?

Reading, writing, music/video editing (although that's also kind of work), watching YouTube videos especially Horror Let's Plays.

12. Do you have any pets?

Kind of. I sometimes sit my parent's dog or cats.

13. How tall are you?

Too short (1,67m)

14. Favorite subject in school?

Idk, Latin? I used to suck at it, but once I got the hang of it, it was fun, especially the history and philosophy writing. Also, Math in 11th and 12th grade.

15. Dream job?

Anything to do with UX Design, writing and media. What I'm currently doing pretty much ticks all these boxes and is very fun.

Oh boy, 15. I'll give it a try (nobody feel pressured to do this, of course)

@zbengui @hxhhasmysoul @perelka-l @urostakako @keniaku @isabellibs @norpramblin @yourdicc